Wednesday 6th Feb 2008
Destination Rhynie

The Kowboj linear Uberfuhrer for konstnar transportation duties hired a s’wanky car with 7 gears but no sense of direction.

Nipny was liberated from Airport security and whisked in a roughly Northerly direction by Hocake and Deering. The latter two listened intently as, for the remaining 5hours of the journey and at approximately 10 minute intervals, Nipny reported discomfiture due to a back injury.

Despite being delayed due to Geographical miscalculations and the onset of darkness, rendezvous at the Elysian Field was completed satisfactorily.

On arrival Ms Hocake drank wine and prepared food whilst Nipny, Nordhausen and Deering lit fires, drank beer and listened to Deering rant. During this period of activity Nipny informed Nordhausen of his back discomfort at approximately 10 minute intervals.

Nordhausen departed Elysian Field into a perfect cool clear night to the sound of distant ranting.

hursday 7th Feb 2008, 1500hrs
Destination Lumsden School reconnoitred the event venue after first having eaten a delicious school meal.

Areas for display were identified and allocated, equipment requirements ascertained.
Kowboj central was then re-located to SSW where the advertising and promotional department swung into action, Protocol 1 was temporarily sidelined.

As Lubo and Coco cursed the numerous MacApple eccentricities, Nipny worked diligently on Piast’s various presentations, this preoccupation with other matters reduced references to his discomfiture due to back pain to 25 minute intervals.

Friday 8th Feb 2008, 0830hrs
Destination Cairnborrow studios

The recording studios and sound engineer, “Mad dog” Macadam had been booked in advance for the creation and post-production mixing of the anthem.

Piast Kolodziej, first Pole, had been engaged to perform the vocal duties and to supply top quality traditional Polish folk music instruments to Deering and Nordhausen.

The resulting single, in line with official profile management protocol, (Protocol 1), will be neither promoted, advertised, broadcast nor released for public consumption.

All events surrounding the recording process were captured on film, which in accordance with Protocol 1, will be edited and then erased.

Friday 8th Feb 2008
Return to SSW

Equipment that had been sourced from various locations and generous donors was collected and examined.

Technical information received by one donor led the Kowboj team to feel both honoured, and proud to have been entrusted with a projector bearing the world’s most expensive bulb.

Shortfalls in audio-visual equipment was recognised and solutions identified.

Further swearing at Apples continued for a while before Deering was able to talk at great length and volume at a representative of the art group “Ganghut”.

During this time Nordhausen constructed the I.T.S.A. World Championship Trophy and enlisted help in Squennatorium construction.

Friday 8th Feb 2008
Lumsden School

Setting up began at the close of the school day with some assistance provided by a bemused member of the school staff.

A final projector and screen was also picked up in the dark from the back of an unknown car from a person that nobody had met.

This Classic example of Nordhausen forward planning was made even more suspect by the location, an unlit school car park, the Kowboj representatives, Deering and Nordhausen and the activities nearby. Namely junior swimming lessons and 6th form girl’s netball practice. Fortunately, and rather surprisingly under the circumstances, this arrangement worked without a hitch or police interest.

The remaining time was spent moving tables and erecting screens. Despite his back injury, Nipny was able to assist in this procedure.

Friday 8th Feb 2008
Gordon Arms, Rhynie

A friendly booze jockey happily served drinks and salty consumables to the increasingly thirsty Kowboj throng whilst reluctantly listening to the recently recorded anthem.

It was agreed that this public broadcast was not a breach of Protocol 1 as nobody showed the remotest interest.

Deering was able to strike up a very temporary friendship with the husband of a fellow nag botherer, with whom he had a brief a telephone communication. Not quite as brief as dialogue Nordhausen had recently had with Mrs Nipny.

Saturday 9th Feb 2008
Destination Konst

Final preparations were completed before the doors were opened to the trickle of punters who attended throughout the day.

Despite also being hampered by a back injury, which was referred to far less often than Nipny’s, Piast was given the opportunity to meet and greet all comers.

It soon became evident that Nordhausen’s brilliant tactic of distributing Polish language flyers advertising the event to Polish bus drivers proved to be a masterstroke in recognising the innate philistine nature of the Polish bus driving fraternity. All told, a first class result for Protocol 1, which also provided a target demographic for future promotion material.

At one point during the event the local press were delighted to be spoken at by Deering.

After the final bout at the Squennatorium, the event was closed and works removed.

A show real was then shown at the Lumsden arms to an appreciative non-violent audience. Nipny’s reading of Tressel’s work was well received.

A taxi had been hired to take the Kowboj contingent plus “Big Banker Ben” for a return to Elysian Field via the Gordon Arms.

Alcohol produced an attempt at indoor boulder traverse on the natural stone interior, which was curtailed by the reluctance of the owner.

The return to “Elysian Field” where an arm wrestling session did not occur due to lack of interest was speeded fractionally by a discarded children’s scooter. A second, lager based activity was agreed to by all and undertaken strenuously.

Sunday 10th Feb 2008
Destination Dobbies

Departure of the 3 Kowboj representatives Southward left Nordhausen to complete domestic reclamation of Elysian Field.

During a break on the return journey Deering broke Protocol 1 along with the spirits of a journalist, later to commit suicide, by conducting a telephone lecture to an unwary newspaper reporter.